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I Have Read John McCain’s Mind

June 22nd 2008 18:08
Well the time has come for me to focus my attention on Senator McCain who is going to be the competition in the general election. Given the likelihood that more Superdelegates will be shifting to Senator Obama in the coming days, I will call him the presumptive nominee from now on. John McCain is in a unique position in that he has quite a few liberal views that I might agree with, but his overall view is decidedly Republican therefore I cannot in good conscience support him. That being said, this is why he proves so enticing to some of the more experienced focused Clinton supporters and some people who simply cannot come to terms with Senator Obama as the next President of the USA. Using the wonderful Google Quote function again, I have selected a few Senator McCain quotes and provided some satirical insight into his thoughts.


“I think that the people should understand that I will be Hamas’s worst nightmare,” he said late last month in a conference call with conservative bloggers. - 10 May 2008 (New York Times)

What he was really thinking: “Hamas better be scared, don’t they know that my presidency will boost recruitment tenfold as I continue GOP policies and continue to alienate our allies. They are going to go broke simply paying all these people and that is how I will end the War on Terror.”

“To encourage a country with only rhetoric, rather than sound and proven ideas that trust in the strength and courage of free people, is not a promise of hope,” McCain said, alluding to Obama’s speaking skills and campaign theme. - 10 May 2008 (Baltimore Sun)

What he was really thinking: ” My ideas are so proven, I took them right out of President Bush’s book that he slipped to me the other day…pssst….don’t tell anyone.”


“I’m proud of my record on the environment,” McCain said. “I have a long record of involvement in preserving the natural treasures of my state.” - 10 May 2008 (Star Ledger)

What he was really thinking: ” I love the desert,the heat….the nothingness…. I am so glad I helped preserve this.”

“We want to show that the Republican Party is united and energized,” McCain said. - 10 May 2008 (The State)

What he was really thinking: “Too bad some of these far-right people think I am too liberal, oh well…who needs them…. I have Senator Clinton’s supporters. Republican Unity…. Who needs it…”

“I’m ready to talk to the American people about the challenges and issues we face,” McCain said. - 10 May 2008 (Charleston Post Courier)

What he was really thinking: “I came up with this cool phrase called the ‘Straight Talk Express’ except, that damn Clinton and Obama never let me get any TV time!!!!”

“I have a special feeling for this state,” McCain said just before his fundraiser here. - 10 May 2008 (Charleston Post Courier)

What he was really thinking: ” That feeling is so special that I will forget what I said today and say the same thing at my next fundraiser in the hopes of earning as much as the Democrats.”

“I’m not that familiar with the political situation on the ground here,” he said. - 9 May 2008 (thinkprogress.org)

What he was really thinking: “If only they knew how much I don’t know…..wait a minute….what was I just thinking about?”



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